Are You in Control of Your Emotions During This Crisis
Summary: You don’t have to lose it in a crisis. You can control your emotions instead of letting them control you. When you use your intellect to control your emotions, you will no longer be as impulsive or as reactive.
Repeat the affirmation, “I control my emotions!” Write it 10 times and take a picture of it and post it.
A Story about an Emotionally Paralyzed Woman
I worked for a woman who had a lot of different issues with her family and her marriage. She’d felt traumatized, abused, rejected, unheard, and unseen. She was emotionally paralyzed. She’d get an emotion, or a thought would come up, and that would trigger her. She’d get stuck for weeks and months in a mood and could not break free.
So we worked primarily on building a life around her that would be as trigger-free as possible. As you can imagine, this is near impossible to do in the world, unless you’re living in a room by yourself. (And then you’re lonely and miserable, anyway.)
It took years and years before she was able to socialize, and she actually found purpose in her career. She really changed her diet. She had mastered the complete practice of waking up and having disciplines and processes and systems to do every day.
But then she lost control.
I understand that there’s only so much I can do on my end. I can’t drag people out of their homes. I can’t keep calling and calling. Someone must do some of the lifting.
It’s been about a year since this woman and I spoke. The last meeting we had arranged, she blew it off. She said, “I just can’t, I can’t meet today. It’s too much and can’t go.”
I wrote back and said, “Look, you absolutely can. What you can’t do is afford to miss out and skip out on your life. Because I’m your last bit of lifeline. You’re going to get swallowed up by all these emotions and you’re going to have a real hard time climbing out of this tunnel.”
She said, “It’s so dark – you’re absolutely right. You’re 100% right. I will call you tomorrow at nine o’clock for sure.”
She never called. And I just surrendered.
I surrendered to it because there’s a point where I have to control my own emotion, my emotion of wanting to help, and the feeling of fear for someone when they lose themselves. I had to curtail that and hold back.
I shared this story to let you know that not every story is a success story. The truth is, there aren’t a lot of success stories when we allow our emotions to take over.
How to control your emotions
If you don’t know how to control your emotions, you need to read this ASAP.
What does it mean to be in control of your emotions? It means that you can have passion without becoming passionate. It means you can have emotions without being emotional. It means that you can have feelings, and those feelings don’t cloud your clarity or intelligence.
Those feelings don’t fool you. They don’t rule you, and they don’t fuel you into action. So you’re not led by them. At all times you’re able to make decisions based upon logic and reason. You’re conducting your life from a place that is humanistic, rather than animalistic.
Human beings are given intellect and reason and the ability to think for a purpose. When you use your intellect to control your emotions you will no longer be as impulsive or reactive. This can save you from getting into mass arguments and fights. It could save you from saying things that you didn’t really mean or that you meant and shouldn’t have said. It can keep you from saying yes when you need to say no.
You can listen and learn if you’re in control of your emotions. If you’re full of emotions that are controlling you, one single word said can bother you. You can miss out on everything else after that. One single word you hear that was said creates an emotional reaction – and you’re done.
Furthermore, if you react to something simply on an emotional level, you could get into trouble because you didn’t take the time to see if it stands up to reason and logic. I know people who have gotten into marriages and gotten out of marriages just on emotions. Gotten into business, and out of business, just on emotions. And your emotions control you. They control your eating habits, your exercise habits, your sleeping habits, everything.
What happens when we aren’t in control of our emotions? This is what happens – addiction, depression, anxiety, confusion, stress, strain, frustration, rejection, delusion, the illusion, fantasy, falsehood, fictions, and lies; getting ourselves into trouble that sometimes takes decades to get out of or even never. It can actually be never-ending.
Once you learn to have control, there’s a peacefulness about you. You’re even-keeled, steady, balanced, and grounded. Those are the long-term effects.
If you see someone stressed, that literally means they’re out of control. If you see someone with anxiety, it means they can’t control their feelings. If you can control your feelings, you wouldn’t be anxious. Depression is the same thing. Addiction is the same thing. All of those things you see in this world in people every day is from a lack of control of their emotions, and the long-term effects are pure destruction. Without control, you can’t have a life.
It’s important to understand that once you control your emotions, you could still feel a bit of stress, but you put it back in its place. You could feel anger, but the anger doesn’t take over, it goes back in its place. You could feel fear. You could be depressed, but those feelings would come and go because you recognize this isn’t serving you.
If there’s one thing in life to do before anything else, it’s to build your intellect. Why? Because that is the faculty that helps you control your emotions. Because if you don’t, no matter what you get, no matter what you give, you won’t appreciate how beautiful it is to really live. You just never get there. You’ll be too blown away emotionally all the time without developing your intellect.
So the hope is that you’ll start seeing how much power you have and that you can control your emotions.
Learning how to control your emotions is the single most important lesson we need to learn as human beings! And now you know all about how to do it, and why it’s so important! You got this!
For more information on controlling your emotions in a crisis, watch the podcast above, or join the FREE Emotional Survival Kit online course now.
We at the Emotional Survival Kit are here for you, and together we don’t just survive, [we thrive!]
The Emotional Survival Kit is a FREE online training that will show you:
How to calm yourself when you are Freaking Out (or about to.)
How to talk to Children during a Crisis
How to deal with sickness and Loss.
How to be part of the Solution in a crisis.