Are You Staying Connected With Others During This Crisis
Summary: It’s important to stay connected with others. It’s also important to learn something new about other people. Learning about others helps you learn about yourself. You can still make new connections while you are staying at home.
Post about one person you ran across/encountered/spoke to today, and tell us what you learned about them.
Group Therapy Story
Up until I was 18 years old, I didn’t tell one single person a single thing about me that was intimate, really meaningful. I was scared of all those truths and didn’t understand them. I had no idea what was going on inside of me. I was a mess.
I will never forget my first couple days at a treatment center. It was my first kind of group therapy meeting. A guy there was asked to share his story with the group.
I was ready for this myself, because I knew I was going to be asked too, and I was already writing down lies. But this guy stopped me in my tracks. He talked about how scared he was of his own shadow, how disgusted he was by himself. How insecure he was. How he lied about the stupidest things just to fit in and be liked. How he was afraid of people rejecting him, and how desperate he was to be loved. How lonely he felt inside, how stupid he felt. He was embarrassed, and he’d been shamed.
I never heard anyone speak like that before. And that became my love language, the language of making deeper connections. That’s how you make a connection in two minutes. That’s how you change someone’s life. Be honest with yourself and others.
That guy changed my life and didn’t even know me. He didn’t know I was in that group or at that table. He didn’t even acknowledge me. But we made a connection. That’s how powerful being intimate, being honest, being transparent and allowing yourself to be seen, can be.
How to Connect with Others During this Crisis
This crisis is an opportunity to make new friends or to strengthen existing friendships. Believe it or not, even if you can’t spend time with your friends in real life, you can still virtually honor them, even beyond the physical barriers that the current crisis has built, by being open and honest with them.
It’s very difficult to keep learning about yourself when the only one you’re looking at is you. So one of the best ways to learn about yourself is to learn about others.
And the more you expand your horizon and learn about others, the more you can compare and contrast, the more you can begin to really understand and know yourself. What’s more, you become a better communicator, because you hear what others are trying to tell you and you explain yourself to other people.
At the same time, you are honoring someone by making them feel seen and heard. In order to honor someone, you have to know that you have to take proper measurements of them. You’ve got to assess them. That’s why it’s so important to learn something new about people or to learn about different people.
When you honor somebody by truly hearing and seeing them, it’s an incredible experience for you, and they become grateful for your connection.
Ways to stay connected remotely:
Well – you could scream at someone. But that’s not too effective
Make a phone call.
Write a letter.
Get in your car and drive to their home.
How do you make new connections?
Be friendly. Use your intellect. Do you know how many people are desperate to have somebody kind in their life? Listen to people you know. Many people don’t get listened to. That’s how you make a friend. It’s how you make new connections. Be honest with people. Just say, “Hey, what’s going on?”
People are scared out there. And they’re freaked out – just like you are. But don’t get caught up in that. You just keep doing you.
You can use social media to make connections or get to know someone better. Send private messages. Be honest. You can say, I look forward to learning more about you.
Keep it simple, keep it consistent, check in again, and find doors to walk through. Listen to what people are really saying. Ask questions. People love to be asked questions about themselves. Just ask, “What do you like? What do you think?” People love that. That’s why they’re on social media, to tell people what they think, even though they were never asked.
To form a deeper connection, you establish a foundation of communication that’s clear and with a common attraction, with common personal interests and goals. And then you take it beyond that to make it more intimate and honest.
Honestly, everyone’s connected, really. If you don’t feel connected with anyone, something’s very disconnected within you. The truth is that there is a unity in this diversity. We see there’s a homogeneous energy, and in the homogeneous energy we experience connection.
I have a limited vocabulary, limited intelligence, limited emotional intelligence, limited talents. But I have this: I’m real. Everybody can be. It’s not unique to me. But few people try to be real with others, because they haven’t grown the courage. Hardly anybody understands the value of being real, because nobody is willing to deal with how scary it is.
But when I’m real, when I let my tender fears and reality out, I’m astounded by how much support and safety and love comes my way. And how that opens the doors to others, and they open their doors.
So the hope is that you learn to be real with others. That’s how you can make connections. When you’re willing to be open to new possibilities, people respond to that.
For more information on learning to stay connected in a crisis watch the podcast above, or join the FREE Emotional Survival Kit online course now.
We at the Emotional Survival Kit are here for you, and together we don’t just survive, [we thrive!]
The Emotional Survival Kit is a FREE online training that will show you:
How to calm yourself when you are Freaking Out (or about to.)
How to talk to Children during a Crisis
How to deal with sickness and Loss.
How to be part of the Solution in a crisis.